By Peter Oliver, Catholic Health Association of Saskatchewan
I have a good friend who keeps up with the obituaries. On one occasion, she exclaimed, “Have a listen to this optimistic outlook: ‘Nancy Jones died suddenly and unexpectedly — at 92!”
I made up the name Nancy Jones, but not the obituary, and I tell the story because it brings attention to a subject we naturally prefer to avoid, namely death.
For many people, the subject of their own death arises when they receive a life-limiting diagnosis like cancer, Parkinson’s, or ALS. But I am writing this during Lent and thinking of the Ash Wednesday ritual which invites a more intentional stance in relation to our deaths.
While being signed with an ashen cross at the Wednesday service, the minister will often say, “Remember thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return.” Catholics might take this for granted, having heard it from the time of their childhood, but it can be arresting for those who are unfamiliar with the ritual — and that is as it should be!
Contemplating death—both our own and the death of our loved ones—as the ritual suggests, is part of a healthy spirituality. But considering our mortality can easily slip into fruitless abstractions: What is the meaning of life? Is there time in eternity? Do dogs have souls?
This temptation must be avoided, and there is a sensible way to do this: consider the question, what constitutes a good death?
You might explore this by asking, Do I have any experiences of a “good death”? What did those experiences look like? What did they feel like? How did the central elements of a good death—Please forgive me, I forgive you, thank you, and I love you —find expression?
One can also give thought to the care you would hope to receive from medical staff if you were terminally ill or dying. In this respect, filling out a Faith-Based Advanced Care Directive could be an excellent Lenten activity. You can buy a copy of the booklet from the Universal Church Supplies store in Saskatoon or download one for free from the Catholic Health Association of Saskatchewan (CHAS) website.
Another worthwhile inquiry could involve being well informed about the meaning of and access to palliative care in your community.
The Conference of Canadian Catholic Bishops has developed a program called Horizons of Hope, which is a rich resource that can be of assistance in understanding palliative care. A Roman Catholic Diocese of Saskatoon webpage about the Horizons of Hope program includes links to Saskatchewan Health Authority information about palliative care in our province: rcdos.ca/horizons-of-hope.
Really, there are so many ways to fruitfully ponder the Ash Wednesday challenge, but this one is particularly important. Learning to be present to those who are facing a life-limiting illness can transform the ritual reminder of our mortality—“Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return”—into a life-honoring skill.
I say “skill” because there are unhelpful and helpful ways of responding to people who are suffering from life threatening illnesses.
To aid in choosing helpful responses, CHAS has recently released a brochure titled “Accompaniment Through Serious Illness: A Guide to Conversations on Death and Dying,” which can be downloaded from the CHAS website.
As we learn how to accompany those who are facing death and dying, we also receive the grace to embrace our own mortality.
Nancy Jones’ family was taken by surprise when she died; we need not be. This Lent, put the Ash Wednesday ritual to work and give attention to choices that lead to a good death: accompaniment, forgiveness, gratitude, and love. In so doing, you will give expression to the other phrase that often accompanies the imposition of ashes, “Turn from sin and follow the gospel.”
Resources for the Journey:
- Plan: Faith-Based Advanced Care Directive(CHAS)
- Learn: Horizons of Hope Toolkit
- Connect: Accompaniment Guide: Conversations on Death and Dying(CHAS)
- Prayer: Sacrament of the Sick brochure (RCDOS)
- Helpful SHA resources:
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Communications and Catholic Saskatoon News are supported by gifts to the Bishop’s Annual Appeal: dscf.ca/baa.